Maybe Someday (I'll Have A Friend)

from by Maple Syrup

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lyrics

Throw me some meat, I'm sick of the bone
Make up my make up, leave insecurities home
I called her a lot, she said "What am I, fat?"
I said "You don't get babe", and she left me like that
Majestic down a firepole, this volunteer's a stripper
He's fire retarded, he can't stand double dippers
Got a collection of zippers, I booked a conjucal visit
For a valentines date, I said "You think I want sex? I got Jail bait."

The weather is fine
My clothes on the line
I'm doing some time
The pleasure is mine

Smoking isn't bad, it's just ideology
My passions lie in art, but I study biology
My friend thinks with his dick, he needs a rectal lobotomy
I'm a fan of the Beatles, and also full-time monogamy
She said it twice, I don't accept her apology
Said it's all in your head, I said "You think I need you? I got a single bed".

The weather is fine
My clothes on the line
I'm doing some time
The pleasure is mine

I met a guy named Jack, he got himself a Cadillac
And he lacked what I lacked, and I liked what he liked
I cut him slack, but I would never take the fucker back
Cause he was made of wax, worse than that he wanted me to wax
And he whacked me on the ass, and I whacked him on the head
And I kicked him out the door when he try put me to bed

Maybe someday I'll have a friend
But for now I think I'm better off dead
dead
dead
dead

credits

from Who Is Maple Syrup, released March 1, 2017

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